


Closed for Lunch

by ZZ_Chikorita



Series: Hoist the Colors [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions, Pocket Monsters: Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon | Pokemon Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon Versions
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Banter, Biting, Condoms, Deepthroating, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Genital Piercing, M/M, Me: let's make a character as insufferably cocky as Guzma and make them fuck, Neck Kissing, Porn With Plot, Riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26672857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZZ_Chikorita/pseuds/ZZ_Chikorita
Summary: Guzma's horny and he knows a guy who's always dtf.Takes place within part 34 (Growth) of my Jolly Rogers fic.
Relationships: Guzma/Surfer (Pokemon)
Series: Hoist the Colors [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940677
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	Closed for Lunch

**Author's Note:**

> I included a bit of set up from the main fic so this could be read as a stand alone fic. By itself, there's not too much plot. Have fun.

Guzma hammered his fist on the metal frame of the old screen door. It rattled the large, wooden sign attached to it which read 'Heahea Surf Shack'.  
He chewed absently on a toothpick while he waited for an answer.

 _Am I really about to do this again?_ he asked himself, _Plums'll probably give me hell about it..._

Despite his reservations, he raised his fist and knocked again, but a lot louder, pointedly ignoring the smaller sign that read 'Closed for Lunch' with a darling illustration of a napping munchlax underneath it.

He was about to do it once more when he heard grumbling and heavy footsteps approaching. A deep voice called from the other side of the door:

"Alright alright! Look buddy, I'm closed! Come back in a half-"

The door swung open and a dark-skinned, burly Alolan man with black, shoulder length dreads appeared.  
He was wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks, a sharpedo tooth around his neck, and a single silver hoop earring in his right ear.  
He also had a half-eaten sandwich in his hand.

The man blinked his brilliant, ocean blue eyes a few times, his entire train of thought derailed upon realizing who was at his door.  
"-hour..."

"Howzit, Kalani? Been a while..."

The man raised one, thick eyebrow at him and smiled.

Damn... Guzma had almost forgotten about those teeth... bright white against rich, black lips with canines nearly as sharp as the tooth around his neck.  
From past experience, Guzma knows just how befitting they are for a man with such a sharp tongue.

"Well, well, well... Alola my kalohe kāne."  
He leaned against the door frame with his forearm above his head while slowly looking Guzma up and down with shameless elevator eyes.  
"Certainly has been a while G-Money. For what do I owe the _pleasure_ of the great Team Skull Boss gracing me with his... presence?"

"Ya gonna let me in or not, asshole?" Guzma deadpanned.

Kalani huffed and stuffed the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. He stepped aside while holding open the door and motioned for Guzma to enter.

~~~

Later in his bedroom, Kalani went to the bed side table to plug his phone into a small speaker that sat there.

As he searched through his library, Guzma was sat on the bed, preoccupied with yelling internally at himself:  
_Say it say it say it say it say it say it say it. Just fucking say it!_

"Hey 'Lani?"

"Hm?"

"You uhh... wanna top?"

The dreaded man spun around.  
There was a mischievous glint in his striking blue eyes and he flashed his bright, sharp toothed smile.

"Well this day just keeps gettin' better and better," he boasted with a dark chuckle, "What's the occasion."

"What? I need an excuse t'wanna get stuffed?" Guzma grumbled.

Kalani shrugged and finally set his phone down. He had turned on a punk rock album by a cult hero, Galarian singer he knows they both like.  
Then he crawled onto the bed and on top of the ever so slightly shorter man.

"Just surprising," he said, reaching out and stroking the other's pure white hair, "Ya haven't let me top since you started workin' the Hano-Hano."

 _I haven't?_ Guzma thought to himself, _I... didn't even realize..._

"Hey now, focus on me," the man said, lightly tapping his palm to Guzma's cheek in response to seeing his eyes begin to glaze over. Once he had his attention back, he added in a comforting tone, "I gotchu Brother."

Guzma slid his fingers between the other's dreads and tugged him down into a heated open mouth kiss. 'Lani gladly reciprocated, past experience telling him that that's as close to a 'thank you' as he's going to get.  
The white haired man tried to lose himself in the wet and warmth of his lover's mouth, tracing the tip of his tongue along the edge of his teeth and curling it fondly around each inhumanly sharp canine.  
When he grazed the point lightly against the flat of his tongue, he felt a shiver travel all the way from the back of his throat straight down to his dick.

Damn he's so fuckin' weak for those fuckin' teeth.

He broke the kiss and gave 'Lani a knowing look with a tantalize twitch of his brow before leaning his head back in invitation.  
The blue eyed man enthusiastically took the bait, mouthing and licking along Guzma's jugular. 

" _Fuuuck..._ " he gasped as the other drew a section along his neck into his mouth, forcing blood to the surface of Guzma's pale skin, undoubtedly causing a deep purple bruise to bloom.

After pulling off with an audible _pop_ , Kalani gently lapped at the spot, almost apologetically, before moving a few inches down toward Guzma's collarbone and doing it again. And then again. And again.  
Meanwhile, the white haired man reached down to grope the other's, impressively bountiful, ass through his trunks.  
The surfer responded by using one hand to shove Guzma's tank up and paw at the solid muscle of his chest. He lightly grazed his nails around the areola before taking the hardened bud between the side of his forefinger and his thumb and teasing it gently.

'Lani leaned up momentarily and smirked at the man below him. He was pleased to see that all his toying has rewarded him with an extensive, light-pink blush dusting Guzma's face and chest.

"Have I ever told ya akala's a good color on you?"1 he sneered while still fiddling with his nipple and running his other hand down the length of the boss' torso.

"Shut up," the boss huffed in response as he sat up enough to pull his shirt off over his head and toss it haphazardly aside. He grabbed Kalani's shoulders and led them both back down to the bed while growling, "Less talking, more biting _sharpedo boy_."

The other sighed dramatically but obliged him nonetheless, tossing Guzma's medallion over his shoulder and out of the way before leaning back down. The former gang lord let out a dark chuckle as sharp teeth sunk into the dense flesh of his shoulder. It wasn't hard enough to break the skin but definitely hard enough to bruise.

Just how the big bad Team Skull boss likes it. 

Kalani seamlessly alternated between marking Guzma up, devouring his mouth, and sucking his nipples, causing the man to moan unabashedly and buck his hips up to grind their clothed dicks together.

After several minutes, the dark skinned Alolan paused his ministrations and began to snicker against Guzma's pale chest.

"Impatient much?" he jeered in acknowledgement to how Guzma was hooking his thumbs into his trunks and trying to force them down.

"I'm horny as fuck and you're a fuckin' tease," he shot back.

"Brah, I ain't the one that requested extra foreplay."

"Irrelevant."

He snorted a laugh and pushed himself up to his knees to give the guy a hand.  
Guzma watched with predatory interest as Kalani's heavy cock sprung forth when he pulled his waistband down. The man kicked off his trunks and sat back casually with one hand on the bed and the other lazily stroking his already achingly hard and throbbing member.

"This what you want, babe?" he taunted.

Guzma pushed him onto the bed with little effort and placed a hand on each of his thighs to force them open just a little bit more to accommodate his broad shoulders. He stroked his thumb over the tattoo band of stylistic waves wrapped around the man's right thigh and licked his lips as his mouth watered in a Pavlovian response to the sight before him. He proceeded to look Kalani dead in the eye and lick a long stripe slowly from the man's perineum to the very tip of his cock.

The surfer dropped his head back and let out a deep groan as Guzma took the head in his mouth and sunk down until the leaking tip pressed firmly against the back of his throat. 

And then... he sunk just a tad further.

"Arceus Guzma..." he panted as the white haired man pulled off him at an agonizingly slow pace, "Now who's the tease?"

Team Skull's boss chuckled, voice a bit huskier than usual after having just momentarily stretched his throat, and said, pumping the now spit-slicked cock, "Ya can't flaunt this bad boy in front of me and 'xpect me _not_ t'wanna choke on it a lil."

"Fair"-he rolled over and rummaged around in his nightstand for a condom and a bottle of lube-"but you keep on like dat, I ain't gonna last. Now take your pants off. I'm feelin' underdressed."

Guzma rolled his eyes but swiftly complied, hissing slightly as his painfully hot dick hit the open air of the air-conditioned room.

"You wanna do it yourself or should I?" Kalani asked, holding up the bottle.

"You," he answered a bit too automatically.

The other feigned a small pout and gibed, "What, no 'please'?"

Guzma uttered a throaty noise that, in retrospect, sounded a lot more like a whine than he had intended.

Kalani clicked his tongue in a 'tsk tsk' as he pulled his lover up to sit on his lap with his back to him.

"Needy boy," he growled, grasping Guzma's cock and rubbing his fingers fondly over each of the six bars decorating the man's shaft. He reached for the lube with his free hand.

The boss opted not to respond, his one track mind urging him to do whatever it takes to get him from point A to point B as quickly as possible.

(Point B, in this case, being Kalani's rich black and incredibly thick cock pounding mercilessly against his prostate.)

The sharp pop of the bottle's cap got Guzma's attention followed by a cold, lubed up finger rubbing gently at his entrance.

"C'mon 'Lani, I ain't that delicate," Guzma complained when the other kept teasing it far too slowly for his liking.

"I have big fingers," he asserted.

"They ain't that much bigger than mi- _Oh Tapu-fucking Arceus_."

Kalani had interrupted his thought by sliding his first two fingers into him all the way up to his knuckles in one go.

"You were saying?"

"Dick."

"No. Not yet."

"Shut up- _Aah!_ "

The back of Guzma's head thumped limply against the other's shoulder as he crooked his fingers into just the right spot to have the big bad boss' brain turning to absolute mush. 

'Lani placed his free hand solidly against Guzma's exposed throated (without pressing or squeezing it) as he continued to prep him. 

The white haired man regained enough coherency to turn his head and press a kiss to Kalani's jaw.

Surprisingly, the man didn't comment on the uncharacteristically soft gesture and, instead, silently turned his head so they could kiss while he carried on stroking and scissoring the other man open. 

Not long after, Guzma was impatiently pressing Kalani back into the bed while not so impatiently tearing open the condom.

The blue eyed man sighed and look at him with a pouty expression as Guzma rolled the condom down his shaft.

"Don't gimme that look," the white haired man said while rolling his eyes and lubing him up, "it makes clean up way less of a bitch and anyone who says it don't feel as good as bareback are just makin' sorry excuses for being shit at fucking."

Now it was 'Lani's turn to roll his eyes.  
"I know all that asshole, I was just messin' with y- _SHHHIT!!!_ "

Guzma had impaled himself to the hilt in one fluid motion that had the other seeing stars.

He tilted his head and flashed his infamous smirk.  
"Torracat got yo tongue, fairy boy?"

Kalani exhaled a shaky breath and held up his middle finger to the man on top of him as he mouthed the words 'fuck you'.

The Team Skull boss raised his brow and said, "Gladly."

The blue eyed man lolled his head back and tangled a hand in his own dreads while biting back moans as Guzma made _very_ good on his word. He braced himself on 'Lani's thighs and threw his head back in a deep laugh as he quickly angled himself _just_ right.

"Fuck, man, I forgot how good your cock is!" he announced to the room as he continued slamming himself onto the other's lap.

"Almost forgot how good _you_ is at riding," he replied breathlessly. Then he teased, "How you so good boy?"

To add insult to injury, Guzma slowed his pace but more than made up for it by clenching himself on 'Lani whenever he lifted himself up and then relaxing on the way back down. This had the man moaning every curse he could think of behind gritted his teeth.

"My grandaddy was a paniolo," Guzma sneered.2

"Babe, would ya be serious for two seconds?"

"We both know the answer to that question." 

Kalani sat up and lifted the other man effortlessly off of him with a hand under his arm and the other hooked under his leg.  
He dropped him on his back onto the bed and hiked his leg up over his own shoulder. He flashed his canines and gave the man's pale (and unfairly massive) thighs a tight squeeze.

He took a brief moment to re-lube his cock and then lined himself up with the hand not bracing the leg on his shoulder. 

"Fuck 'Lani!" Guzma cried as he inserted himself slowly back into the boss.

The blue eyed man set a fast, rough pace right off the bat, taking full advantage of the fact that the guy who calls himself 'destruction in human form' (surprise, surprise) rarely wants it any gentler than a screen door in a hurricane. 

Blunt nails dug into Kalani's back as he leaned down, pushing both legs toward Guzma's torso, to bite and suck at the man's pale neck and chest once more. 

'Lani is, not for the first time, finding himself very thankful that Guzma's far more flexible than he looks.

Any snarky comments the boss may have been cooking up died on his tongue as it became blatantly clear that his current vocabulary (as result of his sex fogged brain) constisted solely of ' _shit_ ', ' _fuck_ ', and ' _oh, Arceus, yes_ '.

Continuing to thrust into the man beneath him (and inadvertantly slamming the bed post into the wall, stripping more paint from the surface)' Lani moved up from where he was abusing Guzma's clavicle and purred into his ear, "You're doin' so good, babe, you take me _so_ fuckin' good."  
He moved his hand from Guzma's thighs to his hips where he gripped white knuckled and continued, "Tapu Lele I fuckin' love it when ya get all whiney and needy like dis. _Such a pretty lil cock slut._ "

It's this very small window before his climax that Kalani knows he can get away with saying this kind of shit to Guzma without the man getting all haughty and defensive, so he makes sure to take what he can get.

"Arceus you're so fuckin' cute... so fuckin' tight for me... ain't nothin' like makin' a sweet lil twunk like you whine and beg for me t'destroy 'em."  
He grabbed a fistful of Guzma's white locks and snarled, "Who's the King of Destruction now, G-Money?"

" _Mai'i_ ," Guzma hissed.3

He panted harder and arched his back slightly, causing Kalani to smile fiendishly down at him.

"You gettin' close, babe?- _Ah!_ Gonna come on my cock?"

He nodded his head and bit his lip to hold back an embarrassing whimper. 

"Want me t'touch ya?"

He nodded even harder.

" _Need_ me t'touch ya?" 

He just kept nodding. 

"Use your words boy."

Reluctantly, the man gasped, "Yes! Fuck! 'L-lani, _please_!"

He grabbed and furiously began to stroke Guzma's neglected cock with renewed enthusiasm upon successfully getting a 'please' out of the feared Skull boss, mindful to not slow his hips in the process. 

Sometimes... ya just gotta appreciate the little things.

" _Arceus, f-fuck, I-I- FUCK!_ "

It wasn't long before Guzma was throwing his head back with a shout and painting Kalani's dark chest with his cum. 

"Oh fucking hell man," he groaned low as Guzma's body instinctively clamped down and pulsed around him.

The blue eyed man kept thrusting, helping his lover to ride out his high until eventually stuttering his hips into a sloppy orgasm himself.

He slowed down and rocked his hips a few more times to milk himself dry before finally pulling out (with an extremely obscene noise, courtesy of the lube) before he got too soft. 'Lani pulled off the condom, quickly tied it off, and tossed it in the waste basket beside the bed.  
He then proceeded to unceremoniously collapse onto his back next to Guzma.

They both laid there silently for a moment while panting and staring at the ceiling. 

Kalani nonchalantly swiped his lover's cum off his chest and licked it off his fingers before letting out a long sigh.

He decided to break the silence by commenting, "Damn, you get loud."

The bed jostled slightly as Guzma chuckled silently.

"Remember that time yo neighbors called in a noise complaint at ya old apartment?"  
Guzma pushed himself up on his elbows and began laughing more in earnest as the memory unfolded in his mind.  
"Lord, your face when dat lil imp of a landlady came knockin' while you was balls deep in me!"  
He paused a moment in a fit of laughter before continuing on, "She would _not_ leave so you had t'go answer the door and" -he choked on a laugh- "and she chewed you out for a solid half hour!"

"Oh, Arceus, don't remind me!" he groaned, covering his face with his hands, "It was like gettin' scolded by my kapunahine!"4

They both laughed ruefully until Kalani excused himself to use the bathroom.  
When he returned, he approached the side of the bed Guzma was resting on and held out a glass of water to him.  
The white haired man grunted something and rolled on his side to face away from him.

"Stop being a brat and drink," the surfer sighed, shoving an arm under the man to force him into a sitting position. 

Guzma snatched the glass from him and said, "Fine, but go put some Arc-damn pants on."

He looked down at himself and then back at the white haired man with his brow raised and his arms akimbo.  
"You was so impatient t'get my shorts off earlier and now you's whinin' t'get 'em back on?"

Guzma drained the glass and set it aside. 

"Hey, _that_ was horny Guzma," he said, thrusting his thumb off in a random direction. He then pointed downward and said, " _This_ is regular Guzma. And regular Guzma don't want yo limp-ass dick in his face."

"I find this concept that yo default state as anythin' but _insatiably horny_ t'be incredibly improbable-"

The boss chucked a pillow at 'Lani's face and got up from the bed. He picked up his boxers from the floor and sauntered off to the bathroom while flipping him off. 

"Drama queen," the blue eyed man grumbled. 

" _I heard that!_ "

**Author's Note:**

>  **Footnotes:**  
>  **1.** Akala: (Hawaiian) Pink  
>  **2.** Paniolo: (Hawaiian) Cowboy  
>  **3.** Mai'i: (Hawaiian) Fuck you  
>  **4.** kapunahine: (Hawaiian) Grandma  
>  **End notes:**  
>  This is the first time I've written any kind of explicitly sexual content, please be kind to me q.q
> 
> [Come yell with me on Tumblr](http://zz-chikorita.tumblr.com)  
> [Read Jolly Rogers](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680463)


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